Lady Marmalade
by Misguided Choices
Summary: Crack!fic. Written with my love LawandOrderFreakBAEO. What do you get when you mix NCIS with a song from Moulin Rouge? A wonderful performance by our favorite girls.


A/N: Clearly Crackfic. Just for the lolz. Co-authored with Brielle (LawandOrderFreakBAEO). Idea formed when driving around town.

Disclaimer: We do not own NCIS, or song lyrics from Lady Marmalade.

Late one night, Abby, Jenny, Kate and Ziva were working overtime. The boys decided to call it an early night and had headed over to the bar for some drinks. The girls each sat at a desk in the bullpen working away when they decided they needed a little music. Abby ran back down to her lab to retrieve her iPod and speakers. As she returned, she skipped over, plugging the speakers into an outlet. "I really don't know what to play, so I'll put it on shuffle." As they resumed working, they were a bit surprised that it wasn't Abby's usual choice of music. They looked at her in question, and she responded with a shrug of her shoulders, "That's just to annoy Gibbs and McGee."

As the next song started to play, they all looked up to each other, smiles on their faces. Abby began to jump up and down, heading toward the stairs. "Come on, we have to sing and dance!" After a few protests, they all stood up and made their way up the steps toward Abby. Abby started laughing and then began to sing...

_Where's all mah soul sistas  
Lemme hear ya'll flow sistas_

As everyone pointed to Jenny she began to sing the next verse...

_Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista  
Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista  
He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge  
Struttin' her stuff on the street  
She said, "Hello, hey Jethro, you wanna give it a go?" Oh! uh huh_

They all shared a small laugh and smirk at the mention of Jenny's partner and lover. Abby then rose the last few steps to the catwalk, followed by Jenny, Kate, and Ziva. They gave each other a good distance apart as they began to dance very provocatively and sang the chorus...

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)  
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here)  
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)  
Creole lady Marmalade_

Abby then turned to the other girls and said smiling...

_What What, What what_

Jenny then joined in trying no to laugh...

_Ooh oh_

Each girl turned to each other with a wink...

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi_

Abby rose her hands in the air and sang...

_yea yea yea yea_

Kate then stepped up for her turn to sing...

_He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up  
Boy drank all that Magnolia wine  
On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak yeah  
_

They joined in again as they started singing the all too familiar words...

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da)  
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah)  
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (yea)  
Creole lady Marmalade_

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir, what what what)  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi

Abby finally clung to the railing as she began to sing her main verse...

_Yea yea uh  
He come through with the money and the garter belts  
I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate uh  
We independent women, some mistake us for whores  
I'm sayin', why spend mine when I can spend yours  
Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry  
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari  
Wear high heel shoes get love from the dudes  
4 bad ass chicks from the NCIS  
Hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas  
We drink wine with diamonds in the glass  
By the case the meaning of expensive taste  
If you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya  
Mocha Chocalate-a what?  
Creole Lady Marmalade  
One more time C'mon now_

Too distracted by the song and the dancing the girls didn't notice the ding of the elevator doors as Tony, McGee, Gibbs, and Palmer stepped out. Jenny, Kate, and Abby vocalized...

_Marmalade... Lady Marmalade... Marmalade... _

The four boys turned to each other, mouths open, at a loss for words. Ziva took a deep breath as she belted her main part...

_Hey Hey Hey!  
Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth  
Color of cafe au lait alright  
Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,  
More-more-more_

Kate then came in to accompany Ziva...

_Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5_

Jenny then came in right after Kate...

_Livin' a grey flannel life_

Ziva joined back in...

_But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,  
More-more-more_

As another round of the chorus came they all bent down to the floor at the same time, squatting, hand on the floor, and as they rose they slowly dragged their hand up their body. Tony had his eyes trained on Ziva, mouth open, drool almost coming out of his mouth. He began to walk forward, but was slapped on the head by Gibbs. As he turned around Gibbs shook his head and said, "Savor this moment." McGee stood staring at Abby, not a word coming from his mouth. Palmer then turned to the rest of the boys and said "Wow... look at Kate..."

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea)  
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh)  
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (yea)  
Creole lady Marmalade_

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my sistas yea)  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C'Mon! uh)

As if they had choreographed it, they all came together in a grid line. Tony took one look at the four girls rubbing up against each other and almost raced up the stairs. However, Gibbs stepped in front of him and looked up at the girls and said "Ziva." All the girls looked down in horror, but after one second Ziva decided for all of them that they were going to finish this song, no matter who was watching. She stepped forward looking straight at Tony and began to dance like Shakira and sang, "_oh Leaeaa Oh."_

Gibbs then turned and said, "Kate." Ziva then joined the line again as Kate stood forward shaking her ass, singing "_Lady Marmalade."_

Gibbs looked up at Abby with a wink and said "Abby." She stepped forward and started removing her top shirt slowly, revealing a tight cami underneath as she sang, "_hey Hey! uh uh uh uh."_

Gibbs then looked up at Jenny with a smirk on his face, and fire in his eyes. "Jenny." Jenny stepped forward, clung onto the railing and bent down to the floor vocalizing, "_Oh Oh oooo."_

Gibbs stood with his mouth open as Jenny returned to the line. He then stumbled and said, "_NCIS," _as the girls sang,_ "0hh."_

The girls each rose a hand as they finished the song...

_Creole Lady Marmalade Yes-ah......_

Tony stood there with his mouth open, drool actually coming out now. "Uh... can... can we get an encore performance? We uh... missed the beginning of that."

The girls looked at each other, contemplating an answer, and then shared a laugh.

**The End.**


End file.
